It's All About Love

Who are we kidding? When most of us contemplate the oncoming holidays, we feel a low-level dread…Judgment Day…Time to be serious and thoughtful… time to recite a bunch of things that we don’t understand…what are you wearing?...get me out of here!
It is true, Rosh Hashana is the Day of Judgment, but our relationship to it can come from an entirely different place and we can experience it in a completely different way.

To understand these powerful days, we need to take a look at what comes before it. Just like any big event, examination or life transforming experience, a person needs to be prepared. That’s what the month of Elul is all about; the requisite time we need to come to Rosh Hashana prepared, focused, mindful. However, when we look at a deeper dimension of the meaning of the word Elul, we find something interesting. The word Elul (spelled aleph, lamed, vov, lamed) is an acronym for the verse in the Song of Songs, “Ani l’Dodi, v’ Dodi L’i”; I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me.” The month of Elul does not mean, “You better get your act together or you’re gonna get zapped!” It’s a statement of love and the ultimate expression of God’s desire to have a relationship with us. Yes, us. The ones are too distracted, too hyper-scheduled and way too over extended to commit to yet another pursuit…a relationship with the Almighty! Sound like you? The forty days from the beginning of the month of Elul until Yom Kippur are God’s ultimate expression of desire…for a relationship with you.

Let’s understand this lofty concept with a down-to-earth story I recently heard.

Recently a very successful business man shared his distress with a good friend, from whom I heard this powerful story. He was a high-level executive at an investment bank who helped large companies make money. He was always travelling around the world, and was supposed to be in China the previous week but his trip was cancelled.

“Charlie,” he mourned. “You are so lucky. Wait until you get older. Last week I walked in unexpected to my house after my trip was cancelled. I walked into my son’s room who is sixteen years old. He was texting, video chatting, and on his cell, all at the same time. He barely looked up when I came in. Later that night I heard him talking with his friend. ‘Man, I hate when my dad’s home. I’ve got to watch my curfew, check my breath, watch my hiding spots, it’s such a drag.’ “

The man continued. “I live my whole life to provide for these kids. You think I want to live in an airport? Doesn’t he realize that when I ask him about his life and I care about what’s going on with him that it’s for his benefit, not mine?”

The man looked at Charlie. “You are so lucky,” he repeated. “Your kids are still young. When you turn that key in the door, they run right to you. Daddy’s home! Daddy’ home! No matter what’s going on, for that moment daddy’s home. For that moment there’s nothing wrong with the world.”

This is the meaning of Rosh Hashana. Of course the Almighty is always with us, loves us always and is behind every event of every size in our lives. There is nothing that exists without God’s will and his absolute goodness and love behind it. But during these days God comes home to an even greater degree.

Do we even want him home?

On Rosh Hashana the key is in the door and daddy is home. God really is our loving Father but with a twist. He is perfect. He has no needs. He wants us to have a relationship with him for our sake, out of his absolute love for us. Although it may be hard to relate to, the highest level of pleasure we can have is a relationship with the Source of all goodness.

These are the critical moments where we have a choice to make. We can prepare for the holidays with the understanding that it is all about love. “Ani v’Dodi v’Dodi L’i.” I am for my beloved and beloved is for me. My father is home and He wants to have a relationship with me. There is no greater pleasure I could possibly have. Or we can slip into the gravitational pull of that sixteen year old. We can feel guilty, disconnected, irritated at being imposed on, and lay low until the whole thing is over.

Understand that if we’re not looking forward to Him coming home, we don’t need to be hard on ourselves. But what we should do is take some time from our schedules to contemplate what it means to have a relationship with the Creator of the world. To feel genuine appreciation for the goodness of your life, from your eyesight to your memory to your ability to swallow and form words. From the food you eat to the child at your table. To believe that He actually hears and cares about the words we say to Him. To contemplate what it means to be loved absolutely by Him, despite any shortcomings we have. To think of what we can do to live a life with a little more clarity, a little more purpose, to want meaning in our lives just a little bit more. To feel the joy as the key turns in the door.

Is there a better way to start Judgment Day?